Be that peace of mind
Student: How can I be of service?
Teacher: Be that peace of mind.
Student: How is it done? How can there be peace of mind?
Teacher: It already is. No way to make it.
Student: I'm sitting at Starbucks and all of a sudden a homeless man is pushing his cart by. How can there be peace?
Teacher: Peace is at any moment. The man, the face, the feeling, the cart, the moving, the thinking about it, the distraction, the contrast, the suddenness, the story around it, the distance, the closeness, the helplessness, the curiosity, the craziness, the injustice - and then there's something sublime underneath that doesn't need any words at all.
Student: But how to not getting sucked in? This day they also played extremely loud and noisy music.
Teacher: It all comes out of nothing, stays for a little while, and then it's gone. There's not a noise in contrast to the stillness, but actually the subtle silence of this moment is giving space to the noise. The noise is temporarily welcome and then it disappears back into the silence. What does not need any effort?
Student: The silence.
Teacher: Can that silence ever be disturbed?
Student: Just by some thoughts about it.
Teacher: But even the thoughts are just happening within that silence. Silence is peace. It's what is without any effort. It's within everything and everybody and at any moment. It's what is true. It's always innocent and fresh. It's already here and ever-present, with our without giving attention to it.
Student: Is it the awareness of this moment?
Teacher: It is also awareness but it doesn't need awareness to be this moment. It's all-inclusive. The awareness is simply included. It's not to be described other than being the one truth that is already happening now. So you are not even to 'be that peace of mind' but 'peace of mind' is already happening and your idea about yourself is included in it. In reality it's all one and there's no distance between your idea about yourself and everything and everybody. The 'I' you thought to be is nowhere to be found. The mind is silent. And the deep knowledge of this moment reveals the silence as the one truth.
It is what you are
It is silence. It is stillness. It is at any moment. It’s untouched. It’s what you are. It’s allowing. It’s embracing. It’s smiling. It’s completely free. It’s what you are. It’s not to be found. It’s not to be lost. It’s without seeking. It’s without seeker. It’s what you are. It’s closer than your skin. It’s...
A world of struggle
Student: How to deal with the world?
Teacher: With a smile.
Student: What if struggle occurs?
Teacher: Ask to whom it occurs and search the one.
Student: How do I cope with betrayal?
Teacher: See the smallest thing in front of you in the moment of utter injustice. It can be a morsel of dust, a glimpse of light, a hushed look of attraction. The smallest thing will do it. And you're just focusing on that. Give all of yourself to that. And then see what's real. Is it the thought about betrayal or is it what is presenting itself in that moment of giving all of your attention.
Student: Does it need strength?
Teacher: Forget about yourself and just be in the moment. No strength is needed. Your breathing is more than enough. Be that peace of mind.
Student: What is 'That'?
Teacher: It's the unknown.
Student: Where can it be found?
Teacher: Inside yourself.
Student: Where do I look?
Teacher: Where is the 'I'?
Student: Can it be described?
Teacher: Everything at any moment.
Student: Then it seems to be very big.
Teacher: Bigger than the universe. And smaller than your thought.
Student: Can I see it?
Teacher: Can your eyes see you?
Student: Can I feel it?
Teacher: Can you feel around the feel?
Student: Is it the truth?
Teacher: It's the true truth that renders all other truths untrue.
Student: When do I get it?
Teacher: When you know the 'I' as unknown.
A single Thought
What sets heaven and hell apart is: a single thought. A single thought has the capacity to tear apart the spaciousness of this moment. It’s not that the thought isn’t allowed to be. It’s there in and of itself without anybody thinking it. But once you start believing in you as the one ‘doing’ the thought, enlightenment is gone. Taking ownership of a thought means...
How much of you is repetition?
You’re giving yourself to the moment. You’re falling into the unknown. You’re leaving the old you behind. You’re walking your first steps alone. How much of you is repetition? You’re thinking how to stop thinking. You’re feeling the lack to just be. You’re seeking for you as the seeker. You’re empty as nothing can be. How much of you is...
No place to go
Student: Is there any place you'd recommend to find inner peace?
Teacher: Look within and ask yourself if peace is not already there.
Student: But there's so many ashrams and monasteries.
Teacher: It all has its place. But when it comes to find yourself, to want to know who you are, where would you look?
Student: Since it has obviously to do with myself, I guess I need to look closer.
Teacher: Will any place bring you closer to what you are?
Student: A beautiful place just might be of some help.
Teacher: It may help. Yes. But what would you do there? Wouldn't you be asking yourself then again: Who am I? Who have you been before coming to this special place? And who will you be when you leave that place behind? Is there anything that really doesn't depend on any place you can think about?
Student: It's just my mind having the idea that there must be some disposition in order to find what I am?
Teacher: How far is it from L.A. to New York?
Student: Just about 2,500 miles?
Teacher: And how long do you need to get there?
Student: Just about 5 hours?
Teacher: Now, what is the distance between yourself and a thought about yourself?
Student: There's no distance.
Teacher: And how long did it take you to get there?
Student: No time.
Teacher: Then where do you go to find yourself?
Teacher: Is there anything else?
Have you ever wondered?
Have you ever wondered why a bird is not being bothered by the sky that it flies in or why a wave is not struggling to return to the ocean that it belongs to? Have you ever wondered why the only one in the universe who’s looking for change, who’s trying to change somebody or the things around, is a human being? Have you ever wondered why a human being is the only force in the entire...
When you lose your world...
The world: How to do things?
Beyond: Just be.
The world: But can this be fun?
Beyond: Try it.
The world: But will I gain anything?
Beyond: You're everything. Is there anything more?
The world: But will I be loved?
Beyond: You're love itself.
The world: Why is there doubt?
Beyond: Because in your world is mind.
The world: Will I lose my mind?
Beyond: You're everything, your mind is included.
The world: Will I be alone?
Beyond: Find out.
The world: When can I be?
Beyond: Always now.
Student: When will it happen? When will I be liberated? When will I be happy?
Teacher: Now or never.
Student: Why do I still think I have to do something?
Teacher: Just your mind.
Student: Why is it so prominent, always trying to think?
Teacher: Why is a wave showing up from the ocean?
Student: Will the mind last forever?
Teacher: As the wave will always belong to the ocean, the mind will always belong to you.
Student: Where am I?
Teacher: Right here. Between the wave and the ocean, is there any distance?
Student: No, always together.
Teacher: Isn't it just the illusion of the mind thinking it would be on its own?
Student: Yes, like a wave thinking it's separate from the ocean.
Teacher: Then, why should anything happen to make you happy? Is there any distance between the happiness of you and a thought in your head about it? For how long would this thought need to travel to find the happiness of you?
Student: No distance.
Teacher: When there's no distance when will you be happy?
Teacher: In that instant of saying 'Now' you're that happiness.
Student: No distance.
Teacher: Yes. No distance.
The unknown mystery
Student: I'm standing on the edge of the known world.
Teacher: You're walking along the edge, back and forth, trying to know the world differently, trying to accumulate more knowledge that you hope will help you, already knowingly aware that no more knowledge will get you closer.
Student: Sometimes I have glimpses beyond, looking into the unspoken.
Teacher: You're yearning for your own coming home. The mystery is calling you. Through you, not only your mind and body, but far beyond, through all of you, consciousness is getting to know itself, is trying to reunite with itself. It's been waiting for you, for a long time.
Student: Can I just fall into it?
Teacher: Yes. Jump off that cliff and fly into the unknown. It's vast and free. It's unbound and unlimited. It's what you are.
Student: There's fear.
Teacher: Who cares? Only from duality is there fear and fearlessness. But what is in the unknown? You can't possibly know, since it is unknown. What if there's just peace and freedom, happiness and bliss, but all your life you were too fearful to allow yourself to fall into it?
Student: It's so unimaginably immense.
Teacher: It's what you are.
The Spiritual Candy Store
Everybody is looking for the good news, waiting for the candy being delivered to them. Spiritual people are waiting for the next guru or the next book, for the next spiritual entertainment, for a different experience, for some form of betterment, for the promised land. Imagine for a moment what it’s like to not look for anything other than what is already here. Outside of your mind...
Student: No way to enlightenment?
Teacher: Only a subject, that is you as you perceive yourself to be, would be going for an object, that is enlightenment. So you have to look for your illusions. You are an illusion, and enlightenment is an illusion.
Student: But so many spiritual people offer ways to get there, even on this blog here.
Teacher: If some so-called teacher is offering you some strategies it's only for using you to wipe out the dust in the teacher's head. In other words this teacher is not a teacher pointing towards Truth, but simply a preacher crying for attention.
Student: Then what is the Truth?
Teacher: The Truth is that it can't be pointed at. The Truth is that none of my words will ever come close to what is beyond the words.
Student: Is it what is called awareness?
Teacher: Call it whatever you want. As soon as you start building up a concept or idea around it, holding this in your head, since you're thinking 'I got it', no, that's not it. The Truth is none of it. The Truth is needing no words, no thoughts, no feelings, no ideas of coming closer, no concepts of being on the way to enlightenment.
Student: So there's nothing and the 'me' as I knew myself isn't there either?
Teacher: Before you think about the 'I',Truth is. Thinking that the 'I' will get it, is untrue. The 'I' or call it 'self' is an illusion. The pointer may be that the Truth is in everything that is not an illusion. If you want to know the Truth go find the illusions that you are still carrying. That's as close as a pointing can be. Anybody telling you otherwise, that's fraud, a joke, corrupted.
Student: So most of spirituality is guiding away from what the Truth is?
Teacher: Yes. It's simply more distraction, making you feel better on the 'way', having a nicer experience while still seeking, and all that. It is misguidance, though it can come along very innocently. But the bigger picture is that a lot of those people writing all those nice books are somehow seekers themselves, trying to get it while putting into words that which can't be spoken of.
Student: What can be done then?
Teacher: See what is deluding yourself at any moment. Confront yourself with your own illusions, not with the illusions of others but with your own. Thinking of oneself as being a spiritual person is another one of those illusions. Don't hold out somewhere, don't cling to any insight. Let the whole universe be trying to manipulate you. Be untouched. Be true to yourself. Be Truth. But that's just words. Find out for yourself, at any moment, what is that that doesn't need any words at all.
For it is in giving that we receive.– Francis of Assisi
Anything other than that?
Sounds are happening, appearances are happening, thoughts are happening, feelings are happening, a million things are happening in this moment. Is there anything that is undisturbed by all that is happening? Is there anything that is welcoming everything that is happening, but at the same time is free of what’s happening, no matter how good or bad it may feel? Is there anything beyond or...
You are silence!
Awakening has – in some sense – nothing to do with spirituality. The most non-spiritual human being might be awake in an instant or is already unknowingly living the awakeness. Being awake or not, needing spirituality for it or not, conceptualizing about it or not, the awareness that you already are contains all of it, and is free of it all, all at the same time. Though many people pretend to...
I am your own self
Student: Who are you?
Teacher: I am your own self.
Student: Then you can't be separate.
Teacher: Beyond form, name and idea I've never been separate from you. I'm more intimate than anything.
Student: Can I love you?
Teacher: How can you not love yourself?
Student: What I am had been there all along?
Teacher: Since before the universe came into existence.
Student: How could I have missed it?
Teacher: You just didn't look. Now you do.
Student: If no thought is real, then why is there so much talking about it? Why is there so much advise, so many books telling you to live in the Now, and all that?
Teacher: Though all questions are allowed, this question is suffering itself, on a very subtle level. The mind wants to know 'Why all that?' But a question being asked in pre-enlightenment about some gratification in a post-enlightened state is troublesome. First find out who's asking the question. See clearly what enlightenment is. Don't come with a version of it. Remove everything that's an obstacle to that.
Student: This seems to be more doing.
Teacher: It's not doing or re-doing. It's undoing and simply letting all the doing pass by. Ask yourself who's doing or even undoing it, and then you'll forget all about it.
Student: Much talking again.
Teacher: This talking is your life. So coming back to the first question which is not really helpful. But anyway, an answer to why there's so much talking about it, is that otherwise you're missing your life. Imagine all the thoughts to be irrelevant (including all the thoughts needed here for all the words), and before and underneath and right in-between all those thoughts, there is what's real. When no thought is disturbing you, there you are. Untouched, like a bird not being bothered by the sky that it flies in.
Student: So all that to see what life really is?
Teacher: That would need a seer and life would be objectified. See if you can find the seer seeing and doing all this. Who's the self asking all this, struggling with all the thoughts and concepts? Don't delay this most important question in your lifetime. The answer is not far away. In fact there's no distance.
Everything and everybody is happening in the silence that you are. Grant the...– The world is in you…
I am free
Teacher: Who are you?
Student: I am.
Teacher: Who's the I in 'I am'?
Student: It's not my body or mind. It's somehow different than that. It seems to be closer but I can't find it.
Teacher: Then the 'I am' can't be found either.
Student: When it can't be found it must be hidden.
Teacher: When the one who's looking for this can't be found, where will it be hidden? It's already found as the one who's looking. But since that that is doing the looking can't be pointed at, nobody was actually looking for nothing. That's freedom.
Student: Then it's timeless and already here.
Teacher: Between the 'I' that you can't find and the 'am' that's obviously here, can there be any distance?
Student: No, it's here, arising all at once. The seeking of an 'I' as a thought, the knowing of not finding any seeker, the recognition of just a mysterious being. Not a second is between the imagination of an 'I' and that 'no-I' trying to imagine itself.
Teacher: Then you've realized yourself as what is just simple presence of this moment. You're freedom and as that you don't have to try to be free. Freedom is free.
Student: I'm free.
Imagine, just for a moment, instead of being the one who learned playing in this world, you’d be the world allowing this being to simply rest. Imagine, just for a moment, instead of being driven by your various agendas, you’d be the center letting those agendas passing by. Imagine, just for a moment, instead of trying to be spiritually aware of every experience, you’d be...
Where is the ego?
Teacher: Once you start following one thought, there you are.
Student: You mean as soon as I'm thinking about a thought, that's called ego?
Teacher: All the thoughts are innocent. Just when you start interpreting a thought, when you look at it as if it's real, then you're developing what you'd call an ego.
Student: No thought is real?
Teacher: How could it possibly be real? A thought is just a thought. Its content is irrelevant. It can never be the real thing. It's just thinking about what you imagine the real thing may be.
Student: And thinking yourself from one thought to another, this creates ego?
Teacher: Yes and no. Yes, you're creating the illusion of what you'd call an ego. And no, really, that ego-thing is just another imagination. Nobody could ever come up with the ego so far. Where is it? Show it to me if you can.
Being is enough!– as it is in this moment
Why the world is insane...
Student: Why is the world suffering?
Student: Why can't it just be stopped?
Teacher: Because the eyes see everything but not themselves.
Student: The eyes see suffering.
Teacher: Pull them out, turn them back, and let them see from where they are seeing.
Student: Turning back to myself?
Teacher: The world is lost because everybody is looking away from the source of lostness, from the struggler.
Student: It starts with oneself?
Teacher: Everybody is looking around for solutions. Nobody is looking inside.
Student: It appears all too separate.
Teacher: Everybody is breathing and takes it for granted. Nobody is seeing that everybody is just breathing. Is the breath separate from you?
Student: I'm not thinking much about it.
Teacher: That's ignorance. The world is insane because of ignorance. People are ignorant of themselves and don't know themselves. They only see otherness where there's unity.
Student: So again the question 'Who am I'?
Teacher: That's the only question of any importance. Before you don't know who you are, what other question could be relevant.
Student: Nobody is asking this question?
Teacher: Everybody is pretending to know who one is. Almost nobody is seriously interested then, since the pretense is doing its job.
Student: If one looked inside, the world would become a saner place?
Teacher: If one looked inside, one would see the world as an illusion, and the actors in this world as being insanely entangled in it. But one would also see wholeness, that there's no other, no separation, and that ultimately there's freedom. Because the truth is: Only the world you imagine to know is insane. But that's not the real world.
…bigger than any thought you may have …closer than any feeling you may sense …truer than any religion you may follow …more you than any notion you may carry about yourself …more here and now than any moment you may remember …so very much alive… …so incredibly obvious… …so deeply burning inside yourself… …so...
I want to be free
Teacher: You are free, already.
Student: How do I know? I'm not so sure.
Teacher: From what do you want to be free?
Student: From being caught in thinking
Teacher: To whom does this thought (not being free, already) happen?
Student: To me.
Teacher: Who's the one who's saying ?
Student: My mind, the thoughts in my head.
Teacher: is also a thought.
Student: It's a desire. The biggest I have. I can't deny it.
Teacher: Good. Let it be the only desire.
Student: But again. How am I to be free?
Teacher: Find the one who's telling you that in this moment you're not free.
Student: I guess I'm telling this story to myself.
Teacher: What is before the story?
Student: Other thoughts.
Teacher: Who's thinking?
Student: Thinking happens in and of itself.
Teacher: How far are you away from a thought then?
Student: I guess I'm thinking myself from thought to thought.
Teacher: But how could you possibly do this? You're saying . Is there any need to think yourself from one thought to another or would the next thought not just be popping up?
Student: The next thought is already waiting.
Teacher: Then it's untrue that you are thinking yourself from thought to thought. Thoughts are just flying through space. So again, who's thinking that you're not already free?
Student: Nobody. Just a thought.
Teacher: If it's just a thought and you're conscious of it, what happens when you're not thinking
Student: Well, not having this thought, I might be already free?
Teacher: Yes. You're already totally free. And then there's no 'how'.
Student: Just the mind is holding on to the story that there's something to do to be free?
Teacher: Yes. The thought is an illusion. Freedom already is in this moment and you're living it. Just don't ask you mind about it and remember: Thoughts are just flying through space. Don't get yourself entangled in thoughts. Let them come and let them go.
Teacher: ... being.
Student: How to be?
Teacher: Who's asking?
Student: Before asking?
Teacher: Being is always.
Student: No mind?
Teacher: Before questioning.
Student: In this moment?
Teacher: Just be...
More thoughts can not explain what is before thought arises, while thought is...– Ray about Awareness
'I' is suffering
Student: Even to say 'I am asking this question' would lead me to the question 'Who or what is the 'I' ?'
Answer: You're searching for the root of the 'I'. You're looking for the Self that created the perception of the 'I', as if the 'I' is needed to be there in order to find yourself.
Student: So it's happening in an instant? I start questioning, using the word 'I', and obviously the perception instantaneously arises that this 'I' is something to whom the question appears and that this 'I' is then waiting for an answer?
Answer: To know this is wisdom. 'I' is a lie. When you say 'I don't know.' or 'I am enlightened.' or 'I don't know what I am.', before you start using the word (and the attached ideas and concepts) there was Truth. Once you start using the 'I', that actually can't be found, the whole universe comes into existence. With the 'I' arises all the suffering. But what was before the question, before the need to use the 'I' in order to ask the question?
Answer: No thing could disturb this presence before the thought of the 'I'. Using of 'I' is the play of consciousness. Consciousness is expressing itself, is troubling itself, is playing around with its creation.
Student: So simply to know that even with this perception of 'I' or 'I am' there is more to it?
Answer: Yes. You know that you are untouched by the trouble that comes with being an 'I' and playing around. You know yourself as pure consciousness before your idea of 'I'. You know yourself as uninterrupted awareness. You know yourself when you're not thinking of yourself, before any word is used, before any knowledge is needed.
Student: No 'I' is needed.
Answer: Where the 'I' is there's suffering. And even that is an aspect of the play of consciousness. But you know yourself as pure consciousness, before any suffering could be imagined. You can't find the 'I' there. It's not there. It was an illusion. You are free. Right now. Before looking for the 'I'. But look for it. The mind wants to find. It will surrender when it can't find anything. No 'I'. You are free.
You are free...
This is what you are...
If offered an invitation to realizing your true being for free, your mind may start thinking, since it’s offered for free, it might be of no value. There’s the invitation to see that outside of your mind everything is already content and that this thought of ‘no value’ just happened to arise in your mind. You may free yourself from any of those limiting experiences. Before any question, idea or...
As long as you just know, you do not know what you are. When you really start to...
In True Silence words disappear. Sounds are still happening but the silence is undisturbed. The stillness transcends everything, all the words, sounds, thoughts. In True Silence nothing can be found and nothing will be lost. Life is seen as having no purpose other than its own end. No idea will be held to impose anything on life, since everything is already perfectly included in the stillness...
You just need an instant to correctly identify yourself as That.– As it is in this moment.
Student: So many teachers, so many books, I don't know what to do, whom to trust, how to find peace.
No teacher: The true teacher is within you. If by grace of the universe your inner teacher is revealed to yourself, sometimes the form of a teacher is showing up. Don't be attached to the form. Look within.
Student: How to look within?
No teacher: Be quiet. Find the space before you utter the word 'I'. Let the mind find the root of your own self.
Student: So I'm asking 'Who am I'?
No teacher: Yes. Who and what is this 'I'? Can you find this 'I'? Ask yourself who's the one who's seeing the 'I'? And even deeper: Who's the one who's seeing the seer?
Student: But all the techniques, all the events, all the teachings?
No teacher: Ask yourself who's the one who's going to meditate? What is it good for to meditate if (before meditating) it never occurred to you to ask who's the one who's gonna be meditating now?
Student: Nobody would attain a teaching that is 'no teaching'.
No teacher: Since there's only the teacher within you, where would you go looking for a teaching that's outside of you.
Student: I looked for the 'I' and I couldn't find it. Just ideas, thoughts, reflections of the body.
No teacher: Who's seeing the seer of all of your experiences, including the reflections of the body and all the thoughts that you have about yourself? Be very quiet and look within. Who's the one who's looking within now?
Student: I can't find anything special. Thoughts arise. Ideas arise. Feelings of the body. But there's a sense before all that. Nothing that I could really grasp. It's empty there.
No teacher: This emptiness is more than anything you could ever imagine. You could say it's a total emptiness, totally full of emptiness. It's so empty that it includes all the fullness in this world. Just keep quiet and ease into the grace of this moment. You don't need anything. Feel yourself as pure presence. No teacher. No teaching. Just still empty presence of this moment.
Awakening want I: The Ultimate Inquiry
You’re telling yourself I want awakening. And by that want you’re objectifying what you’re looking for. Everything that you’re making into an object is leading you away from what you’re looking for. What you’re looking for is that that is looking. You’re looking for the I, your own self, the subject. And you can’t find it because you’re looking away from that I, by having it outwardly made into...
Not to be caught
The only thing that’s not to be caught is that what you are. You may call it God, Buddha, Spirit, Awareness. But whatever name you give it, as soon as you start thinking about it, as soon as you start looking for it, it’s already gone. Not in a way that you will ever lose it. But in a way to have the mind coming up with ideas about it. What you’re is unspeakable of. It’s...
Teacher: Have you ever sensed beyond your senses?
Student: What I am? I don’t know. When I don’t know what I am how can I be sure that I am? Well, obviously I’m asking the question?
Teacher: You are but you are not. You’re sensing that you are but since you can’t find what you are by the very reflection of your body and your mind, you are not.
Student: Then what is?
Teacher: Awareness is. It’s before anything has arisen, before anything matters.
Student: But all the experiences are happening. Why should they not matter? Is that that is happening not that what I should be looking for?
Teacher: What matters is not what’s being experienced. Though there are experiences all the joy, peace and love are derived from the awareness of what’s being experienced in this moment.
Student: You mean, what is happening, simply does not matter. But that there’s an awareness of what's happening and that recognition does matter?
Teacher: At any moment there’s awareness. We don’t know what that is but it is, at any moment. Since it is always, it is the only permanent and consistent experience that you could ever have. Why not paying attention to what is?
Student: But I am, too, even without being a person but just a presence.
Teacher: Your feeling of 'I am' is included in the awareness of this moment. You could say that the awareness contains it all. Even if your mind would be trying to regain control by playing with your body-mind-feeling, the awareness can’t be altered, is forever untouched. It is the only experience you can’t acquire.
Student: But experiences come and go.
Teacher: That’s right. Since we don’t know what THAT is (and we call it ‘awareness’), and we’re just sensing that presence at all times, words naturally fail to explain it. No definition of how to experience it will help you to experience it by simply letting go of. It’s just there, at any moment.
Student: So I’m not looking for any better experiences?
Teacher: That’s right. Being aware of awareness of any experiences right now, is simply good enough. Nothing else matters. Whereever you go awareness is with you. It’s bringing aliveness to what’s happening, no matter what’s happening specifically.
Student: No seeking for any other experiences, since the awareness will never alter, no matter what the experiences will be? That’s a relief.
Teacher: No experiences other than those that are happening right now can even touch the fullness of this moment. This instant is eternal. It reveals everything you ever looked for. Awareness is. And you are that. You can stop trying to become anything or to have different experiences. No need for any more seeking. That what you wanted to find was that that was looking for it. Awareness could only find itself.
You're coming home.
That is you
A silent sound of a single loon, far away, that’s you. A boastful crush of underbrush, here and now, that’s you. The fear of darkness, glooming eyes, uneasiness, that’s you. The cold of winter, endless skies, unsteadiness, that’s you. This instant of a feeling, without a past to strive, This second of a moment, without future to hide, That silence, and no need for words, That stillness,...
Student: The world is frustrating. Eventually it all comes down to not letting go of hope.
Teacher: You're perceiving the world as other than you, as bigger than your thoughts about it. You're anxious of feeling lost in a world that's only offering some kind of hope that keeps you going.
Student: Where can there be a world that's not entirely hopeless and frustrating?
Teacher: What's unreal is seen as separate from your actual experience, though you can see yourself as what is experiencing this experience. What's real is that you're not separate from what is happening and experienced. You, as your body, as the idea of yourself, what you sense and what you're in touch with right now, in this moment, is arising all at once, without any subject or object in it.
Student: So it's just an idea that there's misery 'out there' or that I feel miserable.
Teacher: It can be all there. The misery and feeling miserable. But it's closer than you could ever imagine. The moment you're perceiving it starts before it even arises 'out there'. You could say that it is already here, and it needs that which gives attention to it.
Student: What might it be?
Teacher: That in you that you are besides your reflection of a body is always aware of all of it, without any judgement, just simply as the awareness of this moment.
Student: Not the body, not the mind, but awareness?
Teacher: Awareness simply recognizes bodies and minds and all else, it's like the vast sky, a field of awareness in which you as your self-reflected image of having a body-mind-structure is happening within that field of awareness. The core is the love that's emanating from awareness. In other words, nothing else is needed than a simple recognition of you as actually being that awareness, and everything else as just being that awareness. It's what transcends all of your experiences to the endless love at its core.
You're the One
Student: Lately I've been so busy, it's as if not even being able to be myself.
Teacher: What you are is happening in times of busyness, and in times of not being busy.
Student: Is it happening even when I'm not aware of that it's happening?
Teacher: It's happening with or without awareness. You as the One is happening along everything else, everybody else, among all that is presenting itself in this moment.
Student: You mean, all is one? But this to be experienced, that's what I'm not quite sure of.
Teacher: There's only the One or whatever you may call it.
Student: But then there's no separation. I mean if it's all one how can there be two? But still, to get the feeling for it, it's seems quite difficult.
Teacher: You may get a feeling for it if you experimentally explore what is happening in this moment.
In this instant everything is the One, all of it. All of your experiences, all of your senses, sight, smell, sound, taste, touch. The feelings you're having right now. The thoughts that are running through your mind and the gaps of no thinking. The awareness of all that is, and the aspect of not being aware at all. The chair you sit on, the typing of these words, your breathing. Everything you could ever imagine, that is consciously or unconsciously happening in this moment, is the One.
Student: That's overwhelming.
Teacher: The feeling of being overwhelmed is the One. Everything is included. And nothing is included. It's full and empty, simultaneously. It knows no two. It only knows itself as the One. You're the One, the substance of all there is. You can't find it, and you can't lose it.
Student: It can't be conceptualized in any way?
Teacher: Just let it find you as what you already are. It will find itself if it's allowed to be.
While everybody is trying to make it right, you’re nobody. While everything is in turmoil, you’re nothing. While there’s only pretense, you’re naked. While the promised land is promised, you’re empty-handed. While it’s all tumbling down, you’re still. You are. When the world loves to have more, you’re the love. When everybody wants to have it...
No self, no suffering
Student: How can I become no self?
Teacher: By becoming all, your idea of a self is relinquished.
Student: Then how can I become all?
Teacher: By surrendering to what is unchanged, your idea of being separate is extinguished.
Student: Then why would I feel so separate?
Teacher: You followed what you're not.
Student: If I relinquished all doing, would I be liberated.
Teacher: You're all. You're doing. You're relinquishing. You're playing a person. You're feeling separate. You're becoming. You're stuck. You're surrendering. Nothing is that you're not. You're closer to all of it than you could ever imagine.
Student: But then everybody would be that.
Teacher: That's right. Saying there's only the self or there's no self, that's the same. You can look at it as you want. It all comes to the same. What you are is all that is.
Student: But what am I?
Teacher: That in you that laughs about the question.
Student: But still, I'm suffering.
Teacher: Welcome the suffering as part of your experience. Remind yourself of not being separate. All of your experiences is just because you are. But it all happens by itself. Your idea of a self, having all those experiences, is the problem. Know yourself as no self and there'll be no more suffering.
Illusion of a separate self
Student: Why is this feeling of a separate self?
Teacher: You're identifying yourself with your body. You've been conditioned to be separate by all of your senses. You look around and what you see is outside your body. What you hear is assumed to be away from you. You're walking through your imagined world, never fully realizing that it's all happening inside yourself.
Student: But what I hear is far away, what I see is over there.
Teacher: What is heard and the hearing of it happen simultaneously. What is seen over there, is only happening because the seer is looking at what is seen. It's happening all at once. It's the way you're experiencing what is.
Student: So this is then very close? Otherwise it would be just imagined?
Teacher: Yes. Many experiences are close but still there's this kind of 'knowing it already' that's disturbing the actual perception. You have to literally give yourself away in order to be fully with whatever you're doing. That's also when you open enough to forget about yourself, when you forget about being a busy me, having an agenda, acting as a specific person.
Student: Then this sense of separateness is falling apart?
Teacher: It will never totally cease. No enlightened being has ever totally lost this sense feeling of being separate. But you will get the chance, quite naturally, to see through your sensory illusions and that actually there's no other. All is one. You're just fooled by the senses telling you otherwise. And of course by your mind, knowing exactly that everything is completely separate and to be boxed and labeled.
Student: It all arises, all at once, with no need of any time and space?
Teacher: Close your eyes, and you couldn't see anything. Usually, your mind is interpreting what could be seen, even with your eyes closed. But all that is imagination. In reality, with closed eyes the sense of seeing ceases. Open your eyes, here it is again. Seeing is happening again. All objects of perception arise with looking at them. They are only there when you see them. Pretending them to be there without looking at them, is happening in an imagined world.
Student: But that's usually what I'm doing. I'm assuming it'll be there. And guess what? When arriving there it actually is.
Teacher: And since that is what's usually done, a world of separateness arises. Everything is assumed to be as it is imagined. And the knower of the world out there is being confirmed again of knowing all of it. But see that's the illusion! Reality can never be what is imagined about it. That's why there's a sense of the separate self. Through the body all of your senses imagine separateness into existence.
Student: Without this body there would not be any sense of being a separate self?
Teacher: Without your identification with your body, your mind would come to rest and your senses wouldn't be charged any longer by the mind, with stories about what you're experiencing through your senses. You're not the body. You're before your bodily senses give food to the mind telling you stories about what you're. You're beyond all forms of separation, all notions of interpretation. You're the ground of being.
Stop, love and just be...
Stop where you are Stop before you know Stop without hesitating Stop right now… Love what you are Love what is unknown Love timelessly Love right now… Be that what you are Be that without knowing what that is Be that unknowable mystery without rejecting anything Be that right now… Stop, love and just be…
You as nothing is in everything. That that is aware of that is that awareness...
Seeker: What am I seeking?
No seeking: You're seeking the only thing that you can't acquire.
Seeker: What might that be? I could imagine everything to be easily acquired if I had enough money.
No seeking: You can acquire everything but you.
Seeker: I guess that's why I'm seeking. To know myself. To find myself.
No seeking: You already have yourself. It came as a gift. I'm not talking about the body but about what you are. That what you are came effortlessly, and for free. It's just there.
Seeker: Why can't I see it?
No seeking: You're looking as a someone in need of finding something.
Seeker: Okay, I know I'm not the body, not the mind, and not even any person playing a role.
No seeking: You're playing the role that's called 'spiritual seeker'.
Seeker: How can I drop it?
No seeking: Is it true that there's a need to find out what you are?
Seeker: It's just happening. I can't help myself.
No seeking: You don't need to help yourself. You're complete. Seeking is happening. The rest is illusion. What you're seeking is non-existent, never ever. The sense of being a seeker is real but the seeker can't be found. It's just a role that came with the idea of having to seek.
Seeker: I'm not real?
No seeking: No seeking...
What would it be like to simply do nothing? To not follow any demand that’s being placed upon you, by yourself or others? To not be concerned about the world? To not feel unworthy by not moving forward? To not tell yourself about the need to do what’s required, what’s called for, what’s known, what’s expected? To not be inclined to act upon any thoughts? To not reject...
A shortcut to surrender
Student: Surrender to what?
Teacher: To what is.
Student: Surrender from what?
Teacher: From the illusion of having a mind and a body.
Student: But I'm feeling myself and I'm thinking.
Teacher: But you don't know what you are?
Student: I guess I can't be just the mind and the body.
Teacher: You can acquire everything but you.
Student: I will never know who I am.
Teacher: Nothing can only know itself.
Student: I don't like being nothing.
Teacher: You're before you don't like.
Student: My mind is spinning in circles.
Teacher: Never closing the gap of who you are.
Student: But the world is full of everything.
Teacher: The silent nothing is in everything.
Student: Whenever I go and look, it's there?
Teacher: It's there, whenever and before, always, already.
Student: If I let go of all the effort, I'll be free?
Teacher: You're free with or without the effort.
Student: Surrender to having nothing?
Teacher: Nothing has nothing to surrender.
Student: No seeking to surrender?
Teacher: Let that that you're seeking find yourself.
Student: Can you explain what that is?
Teacher: 'Egoland' is a wordplay, just used as a concise way of telling you about your world. It's all of your ideas, beliefs and concepts. It's all of your pushing back, tinkering, not letting go of. It's all of your thoughts, hopes and wants. So on some level it seems to be pretty big.
Student: Then even the thought of getting rid of it, is just coming from 'Ego'?
Teacher: 'Ego' is also a concept. It's not really there. You can't find it. Each time you look for it, it's already gone. There's just movement of thoughts, you could say. Now when thoughts are flickering through your consciousness and you start clinging to one or many of them, you're creating that 'Ego'. Since it's a process of creating you can also call it 'egoing' which (as a verb) would be more accurate. So instead of seeing the thoughts moving like clouds through the sky, you're picking one and start interpreting, granting it importance, having ideas about it. You're actively egoing the struggle and suffering into existence.
Student: But it's real that I'm thinking.
Teacher: That's right. There's thinking. And there's the interpretation of what's been thought. You can call it the afterthought. With that impulse of giving it more thought, after one of those primary thoughts wouldn't let go of, you're creating your own drama.
Student: But everybody is doing this. How could I even operate without clinging to thoughts and coming up with ideas?
Teacher: You stop when you're looking for your true self. You can choose between your attachment of creating the next drama or seeing thoughts as just movements, coming into existence, staying for a while, disappearing back into nothingness. You may be naturally inclined to start interpreting and having some new ideas but after a while you'll get a sense that that's just more thoughts and that none of it is true.
Student: But in my job I have to think a lot.
Teacher: Think as precise and intelligent as you can. But be aware of all the thoughts that you haven't thought into existence, that are just wandering through empty space. See your impulse to grab them, to play with them. Consciousness is always looking for ways to let you find yourself. It's even giving you the inclination to grab the thoughts. It's also giving you the capacity to be aware of your impulses. Just stay where you are and feel what it's like to not getting involved in any of those plays.
when ego dies
When ego dies, The mind with no more lies, No bondage, no one tries, No illusion does arise, No advice, and never highs, When ego dies, You become the sky, Open, vast, just fly.